This last weekend, the Fiddlesticks Rollers of Fiddlesticklington, Derpshire found themselves opponent-less as they were accidentally scheduled to play themselves.
The league, originally founded as Fiddlesticks Rollergirls, had undergone multiple league splits, leaving Fiddlesticklington with a confusing landscape of leagues.
Fiddlesticks Rollers captain Catherine Wheel explained: “The first split happened six months after the league was founded. Some of us wanted to be more competitive about Derby, while others just wanted to have fun. We left and founded a new league named Fiddlesticklington Roller Derps. Later that year, another group left the Fiddlesticks Rollergirls after an argument and they became the Derpshire Rollerfiddles. Not long after that two of the fractions split again because some of us wanted to go co-ed. So that created Fiddlesticks Roller Derby and us. And then there are also the Fiddlesticklington Wheels of Derp. I have literally no idea where they suddenly came from. It’s all very confusing.”
Fiddlesticks Rollers league liaison Dr Yes added: “I thought I was communicating with the captain of the Fiddlesticks Rollergirls. But it turns out I was emailing my very own captain. It’s getting silly. Maybe I’ll go and create my own league where we won’t have any of this drama!”