USARS to abolish blockers

USA Roller Sports (USARS) have announced that they will abolish the position of blocker in the USARS 2015 roller derby rule set.

This change came after an intensive beta-testing and feedback process involving all of the three leagues who currently play roller derby under USARS rules.

USARS spokeswoman Annett Wit explained: “We found that blockers were only serving to slow down the game and complicate the rule set. What people want is a fast-paced, exciting game that is easy to follow.”

“With blockers in the game, you end up with so much stopping and slowing. Removing the blockers is a small change that just makes everything so much neater, don’t you think?”

In the 2015 rule set the position previously known as blocker has now been renamed as pivot, resulting in a total of one jammer and four pivots per team in each line up. Any number of pivots can break out of the pack at any moment and score points by lapping opponents on the track. Blocking by jammers or pivots is not permitted.

Annett Wit added: “We are committed to bringing our members and fans the game and insurance they love.”

“For the upcoming 2016 rules update, we are currently at the beta-testing stage. But I can tell you that deceleration of any kind will likely become a penalty.”


7 thoughts on “USARS to abolish blockers

  1. As a member of the USARS derby committee I have to tell you that this is 100% untrue. It surprises me that Someone would take the time to make this up. A

    nd I would love to be introduced to the USARS representative you mention. I don’t recall her being at any of the committee meetings. With seven of us we would probably notice her on the conference calls.


    • Haha haha haha. You my friend have made my day. Shake your fist high in the sky and demand a retraction. The audacity of some writers. Shake harder boy. Hahahahahaha.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Lol!!! This post was forwarded to me late at night by someone up in arms and reading it on my phone I didn’t realize it was a satire site, couldn’t see the other posts.

        Well well well. Ya got me.


  2. In a weird attempt to be satirical at one point roller derby history between the late 1930s and the mid 1950s there were no blockers. Simply two teams consisting of 10 jammers five on each team. Not sure if you aware of this. And the game worked brilliantly and has never been played more competitively or skillfully since that time.


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