Team England roller derby selections to exclude London leagues, “because they are too good”

The organisers of Team England and Men’s Team England have jointly announced that players of London-based leagues will be excluded from future national team selections.

This move follows outcries from the UK derby community at previous team selections. London-based skaters have been highly successful at securing spots on national team rosters in the past compared to skaters from other leagues.

National team leadership commented that team selection simply could not be conducted in a manner that would keep everyone happy if the London leagues were eligible, because they are too good.

Players from around the UK welcomed the move. “It just wasn’t fair”, commented Darwheeling of the Derpshire Rollergirls. “Just because those players are better and train harder than most doesn’t mean that they should be favoured in national team selections.”

“I am all for being a proper sport and athleticism, but selecting purely based on skill is going too far for me.”

“There is this awesome skater in my league who didn’t make the team. Sure, she doesn’t have any experience of playing at the high international level. But she is pretty good in our home scrimmages, so why shouldn’t she be on the team?”

“Also, I always suspected that those leagues use some sort of magic fairy dust in their training.”

“I think the process would be fairest if each league in the county provided one skater for the national squad.”

“Or maybe we could base it on how loudly people voice their feelings of discontent.”

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