WFTDA rule book to be used as clinical anaesthetic

The WFTDA rules manual as been found to be as powerful an anaesthetic as leading brands currently used in clinical settings.

In recent clinical trials, patients were given a copy of the 2015 WFTDA Rules Manual and asked to start reading from page 1. Scientists recorded how far patients were able to read before being fully unconcious.

9 out of 10 people were found to be out by the time they got to rule 1.2.7: “The track and the boundary marker line are considered in bounds.”

Half of this group were already falling asleep by the time they got to rule 1.1.1: “At most, 14 skaters may be on the roster for a specific game.”

One out of ten people proved to be more resistant to the anaesthetic effects, in some rare cases making it all the way to rule 1.4.3.1: “If an Official Timeout is taken with 30 seconds or fewer remaining on the Official Period Clock, it will begin running once again, when the designated Official indicates that the Official Timeout is complete.”

The authors of the study suggested that patients who were in the resistant category could be offered fast track routes to level three WFTDA referee certification.

The authors of the study also warned to not underestimate the potential of the rule book. Information should be broken down into more manageable portions or rephrased to not unleash the full effects on players in an uncontrolled setting. Phrases such as “Just re-enter at the back of the pack.” or “Stay close to the other blockers.” were shown to only have mildly sedative effects.

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