Men’s European Cup winner to be decided by giant dick wagging contest

The organisers of the Men’s European Cup (MEC) have announced that the true winner of the tournament will be decided by a dick wagging contest immediately following the final game.

The games of the tournament will go ahead as scheduled and the team that win the final game will be awarded the cup. But the true winner of this Men’s Derby tournament will be decided through a dick wagging contest at the end of the tournament.

An MEC participant commented: “We’ve all been training very hard for this tournament. Extra scrimmage sessions, weightlifting and endurance have been added to the weekly training schedule.”

“This weekend will be great! The athleticism, apex jumps and team work, the speed and the big hits. But that is not what Men’s Roller Derby is really about.”

“Roller derby might be all about challenging yourself, athleticism, empowerment, hard work and dedication. But in Men’s Roller Derby we ultimately just want to find out who has the biggest dick.”

“We believe that this step will further the development of Men’s Roller Derby and offer a truly male perspective in this female-dominated sport.”

A French player commented that he would come prepared and clad in his finest little red towel.

Up and coming players from a number of Northern teams were hopeful about their chances. But a middle aged player from a Southern team commented: “I’ll show these young whippersnappers what’s what!”

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