This last week saw Mary Smith, from Derpshire, enthusiastically agree to spend her entire weekend in a sports hall to watch people skate in circles and skate into each other.
She happily suffered through lack of food choices, sat in stale air, bad lighting and uncomfortable chairs, next to annoying people.
When asked about her life choices, Mary commented: “I’m so excited to be here, I’ve been looking forward to this weekend for ages.”
“We mostly just sit here and watch those people over there skate in circles. Sometimes we will stand up and queue for the bathroom for fifteen minutes.”
“We also go and peruse the stalls where they sell stuff to help you skate in circles. Or you can buy yet another t-shirt to add to your collection of t-shirts you bought at similar events in the past.”
“I’m watching one of my friends. She is really good at skating in circles. I have watched her skate in circles before, but today she is skating in circles with different people.”
“I haven’t been skating in circles for very long, so I need to practice more to get better at skating in circles, before people will come and watch me.”
“Then there are people who write down how often you have skated in a circle or tell you if you have skated in a circle wrong.”
“That one over there has a certificate in telling people when they have skated in a circle all wrong, so he is really good at it.”
We caught up with Mary again after the event: “At the end of the weekend, we celebrated the fact that we skated in circles and that some people were better at it than others.”
“It was the best weekend ever! I can’t wait to do this again and watch some other people skate in circles.”
“Though, it might have to wait a little while, because you have to pay a lot of money to watch people skate in circles.”
“My non-skating-in-circles-friends don’t understand why I would choose to do this all the time. But they don’t get it. It’s the best!”