Derby player moves league for the fifth time to get away from drama

This past week saw roller derby player Poison Distribution transfer to a new roller derby league for the fifth time in three years to – in her words – “get away from all the drama”.

Poison Distribution, who is a self-proclaimed high-level player, started her roller derby career three years ago with the Fartfordshire Rollers, but transferred to Forkshire Roller Derby halfway through her fresh meat course.

“They weren’t serious enough and were holding me back”.

After reaching the end of the fresh meat programme, she transferred again, when she didn’t make the travel team.

“They didn’t see how good I was. I needed to go somewhere where I would be appreciated.”

Transferring two more times because of internal conflicts eventually brought her to the Derpshire Rollergirls.

Regarding her decision to transfer again, Poison Distribution commented: “There is just so much drama in that league, I had to get away from it all.”

“Basically, I just say it how it is and some people can’t take that.”

Commenting on her large number of league moves Poison Distribution said: “I don’t know why this keeps happening to me! It’s so sad how much drama there is in derby these days.”

Poison Distribution’s closing words to her old league could be seen on her Twitter feed: “Laterz bitchez! Let’s see how well you’ll do without me! #justsayin #hatersgonnahate #hardtruths #whyallthedrama #movingon #whatevs.”

Talking about the future, Poison Distribution stated: “If this league turns out to be as bad as the others, maybe I’ll just become an unaffiliated player and play in challenge bouts. These days that’s the best way of getting better at this team sport anyway.”

Duckspeak, a spokesperson of the Derpshire Rollergirls commented: “We hope she finds what she’s looking for in her next league. Meanwhile, we’re gonna get back to training and making sure this league runs smoothly.”


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