MRDA to award travel stipend to the biggest whiner

Recent rumours that the 2017 Men’s Roller Derby Association (MRDA) Championships may be held in Europe led to outrage on social media. Numerous American roller derby players stated that it was simply impossible to fundraise enough money to bring a team to another continent.

In response to this, the MRDA have now announced that to cover the increased cost of playing at the MRDA Championships in the UK they will award a travel stipend to the player who is the most whiny about this situation.

MRDA spokesperson Billy Rubin explained:
“We understand that having to be on social media all day long leaves very little time for budgeting and fundraising.”

Applicants may approach the MRDA via any social media platform, including Facebook, Twitter and Instagram and can do this under their real name, derby name or any pseudonym they choose. You just have to use the new MRDA hashtag: #MayTheBestManWhine

Particular points will be awarded for the most outrageous whining, examples of which could include: ‘We’ve never had to fundraise before’, or ‘I can’t travel to MRDA Champs in Europe because of my criminal record’.

Billy Rubin elaborated:
“Overall, we feel that this is the right move, as the loudest whiners are clearly those who want and need it the most and they are the people we should be supporting.”

“We want to send the message that in this organisation, you can have anything you want as long as you demand it loudly enough.”

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