Roller derby players from across the USA have recently discovered that roller derby is also played in other countries. This revelation has lead to widespread confusion, anger, existential dread, and of course outrage on social media.
Bubble Standard, of the Lame County Rollers, commented:
“This came as a complete shock to me!”
“Are people in other countries even allowed to play roller derby? I mean, nobody asked me if I was ok with it!”
“How are we going to be the number one in roller derby forever, if we are going to let other people play?”
“If we don’t halt this development in its tracks, it will certainly spell the end of North American roller derby.”